Understanding David

In the late 1980s, as I was really starting my hobby with the computer, getting into BBSing, and the precursors to the Internet, I was concerned that my parents were not understanding me, and I later found out I was pretty correct.

Well, I came across The Jargon File one day. And I realized that I had found an electronic Book Of Secrets. Reading through it, things started making sense that had not before. I was actually able to finally explain some of the things that before had been unable to articulate. Especially when I reached the section entitled A Portrait of J. Random Hacker.

I printed out the profile and gave it to my parents. They read through the document, placed it on the table, and both said: “Now I understand. You are not the only one like this in the world.” (Needless to say, East Texas does not breed very many hacker type personalities).

So now that I have been thinking back on things past, I give without further ado.

A Portrait of J. Random Hacker

Flaming Eris on a hotdog bun! gramalkin is having way too much fun breaking my head.

Well, it seems that I am a lot more innocent than I thought I was. When this site was exposed to me it gave me the mental equivalent of a Blue Screen – In fact, it took more than thirty minutes before I could become verbal. (David told me that my sputtering was amusing.)

The site is Elf Porn.com

Here is the opening text from the site.

Congratulations! You’ve found, Elf Porn, the site you’ve been waiting for!! The only site on the net that provides you with REAL ELVES IN REAL PORN!!

That’s right these Elves are REAL. Not cartoons. Not women in costume ears. This is the real deal!


Then to make matters even more confuzzled for me, he introduces me to the ultimate in niche smut.

Furry, Omnisexual, Star Trek Fanfiction Porn with ‘Taurs (Cat, Fox, and others) that are gender fluid and can change genders at will.

(No I have not read any of the stories at this point. – This is obviously a labor of love for someone, and therefore I am going to have to read some. But oh man….)

Just in case any of my Dallas or California Friends are interested . . .

We just got an Open Positions Update from our HR person.

Sales/ Marketing

Graphic Designer- Dallas

· Ideally possessing a 4 year degree with a concentration in graphic design or advertising and at least 3 years of hands-on experience across multiple media, this person must understand the difference between the printed and interactive world and appreciates that difference. Must be able to move freely from a brochure design to a flash-based website, and effectively translate concepts into compelling visuals. Opportunity to create a complete visual identity for a dynamic technology company. The Graphic Designer will develop an interactive, dynamic corporate website, work on printed and electronic advertising materials and marketing collateral. Ideal applicant will have strong flair for color, form and principles of effective design.

DSM- Dallas, Chicago

· The District Sales Manager will pursue new sales opportunities from prospecting, networking and lead generation via business partners (Microsoft, Microsoft Development Partners, Systems Integrators, Oracle Business Partners, HP/Compaq) for advanced web hosting and managed services within a defined geographical territory. This position requires high energy, strong prospecting, qualifying and closing skills with a minimum of 5 years of highly successful outside selling experience. The ideal candidate will have demonstrated consistent quota attainment in hosting/managed services, internet, software, or other information systems industry sales. Effective prospecting, communications, presentation and time management skills are required. This position belongs to the South Region team and will cover the South Texas area. Candidates can be based in Dallas, but it’s certainly not a requirement. Someone based in Houston, Austin, San Antonio or another remote location will be considered as long as they have significant experience covering this territory.


Sr. Financial Analyst- Dallas

· This person will own short- and long-term financial planning responsibilities, including preparing re-forecasts as necessary for the business, creating annual budgets and weekly and 13 week cash forecasts, analysis on revenue and other income statement line items as well as balance sheet and cash flow items, and working with Controller’s group to produce current month actuals vs. budget reporting. Candidates should have 3-5 years financial planning and analysis experience, with the ability to work under tight timelines and produce quality work. Bachelor’s degree preferred.

Credit/Collections Analyst- Dallas

· This position will manage the investigation and review of credit data on potential customers and suppliers as well as supervise delinquent account collection and establish terms of payment. Evaluates credit history and determines credit limits. Candidates must have 5-7 yrs of working with credit and collections in a high volume and multi-location setting including multi-currency transactions. Bachelor’s degree preferred.

Engineering/ Operations

MS Support Engineer- Dallas (2)

· Minimum of one year experience supporting Microsoft web servers. Call center experience is a plus. Qualified candidates will possess in-depth knowledge of Microsoft Windows NT 4, Windows 2000, IIS 5, and web technologies for the Microsoft Windows platform. Desired skills include html, ASP, VB 6, VB.net, FrontPage Server Extensions, basic networking, and experience with Compaq hardware. Excellent communication and customer service skills. Must be able to work on a team and with Sr. staff. Exceptional problem solving skills are required.

DC Ops Technician- Pleasanton

· This position will support the data center operations in our Pleasanton office. Required skills include: Experience with Microsoft platform, ability to perform MS hard reboot, MS platform equipment H/W swap, MS server builds, etc., cable troubleshooting, new cabling and cable management, and tape back up system experience.

If anyone is interested, please forward me a resume, etc and I will pester Kristi.

:: I also wonder if I should post this to callahanians ::

Have I mentioned lately….

How much Ali (valkyrwench) rocks?

I was really frustrated and pissed off on Saturday (I do not like getting the run-around from people) and as a result it was almost 1900 hours and I still had not gotten a haircut. Well, Ali was listening to me bitch on the phone (From what I have been told, my bitching can be entertaining since I do have a rather comprehensive command of the invective) And when I mentioned that I had no luck so far finding a place to cut my hair – I tend to not trust most hair places since I can’t see without my glasses and I can’t get my hair cut with glasses on – she told me (basically) to shut up and get my self over to her place and that she would take care of my hair.

All I can say is that it is great. I really love the cut, it is simple for me to take care of (my hair is pretty curly and so when I grow it out it requires a lot of work for me to keep it presentable). And even Talen_Mystwing thinks it looks great. (And coming from such a handsome man, that is a good compliment.)

Now normally I do not do the picture thing (my mother was the same way, so I know I come by it naturally) but since Talen wanted to see what it looked like I snapped some pictures yesterday afternoon, the reason I look somewhat annoyed is that the building’s management has taken to really cutting the air conditioning back on the weekends (like up to about 90 F or so – about 32 C) so as a result, working on Saturdays and Sundays is less than pleasant.

So I think I will probably let people pick image 1, 2, or 3 for me to replace my aging Me icon.

Pictures behind cut – bandwidth alert!


Well, I have been given my first customer whom I am solely responsible for. C-Cor

And of course this would be one of the more “interesting” customers we have. They are a hold over from the meltdown of Intira – Intira was an application service provider that suffered a financial meltdown in 2001 and got themselves acquired during the orgy of consolidation that went from 2001 to the end of 2002.

Unfortunately, the customer had not been well documented. Thankfully, the engineer who is giving me my own customer to torment is a pretty conscientious engineer and has been moving forward trying to improve the documentation.

Man I love a challenge.


100K streams of classical music

Just when I was in the mood for some and cursing myself for not having much on my work PC.

Curse you gramalkin!

Here I am working (or at least pretending to work) and he has to go and introduce me to a fiendishly simple flash game called Castle.

This blurb about the game should have warned me.

“Not since the discovery of p*rn has my wrist hurt this much. Clear your schedule!”

Damn, damn, damn, damn.

Yes it is electronic crack.

Whee! Geek Love for me!

Got my tickets for this year’s Dallas Symphony!

And note to nata5: I bought two season tickets. I am thinking positively and hoping/planning on having dates to the concerts.

Here is the lineup I bought for this year. (All concerts are Saturday at 8:00pm)

September 25, 26, 27
Corigliano: Violin Concerto: The Red Violin (Dallas premiere)
Berlioz: Royal Hunt and Storm from The Trojans
Berlioz: Le Corsaire Overture
Joshua Bell, violin
Andrew Litton, conductor

October 16, 17, 18
Rachmaninoff: Symphonic Dances
Stravinsky: Pulcinella Suite for Orchestra
Lukás Vondrácek, piano
Peter Oundjian, conductor
Gina Bachauer Memorial Concert

January 15, 16, 17
Saint-Saëns: Violin Concerto No. 3
Dubugnon: Les Arcanes Symphoniques
Rachel Barton, violin
Emmanuel Krivine, conductor

February 12, 13, 14
Mozart: Overture to Don Giovanni
Mozart: Violin Concerto No. 5
Wagner: Prelude and Liebestod from Tristan and Isolde
James Ehnes, violin
Carlos Kalmar, conductor

March 11, 12, 13
Bach-Schoenberg: Prelude & Fugue in E-flat major
Brahms: Symphony No. 1
Elena Bashkirova, piano
Claus Peter Flor, conductor

April 22, 23, 24
Arensky: Variations on a Theme of Tchaikovsky
Stravinsky: The Rite of Spring
Stephen Hough, piano
Andrew Litton, conductor

May 13, 14, 15
Mendelssohn: Suite from A Midsummer Night.s Dream
Dallas Symphony Chorus
Andrew Litton, conductor

So this year I got the Encore package. The other packages had some good pieces but I am a sucker for Orff’s work and Carmina Burana especially. I know that there are lots of “classical snobs” who turn up their noses at Carmina, but to me it is pure aural sex.

The Horror, the horror.

Elvish is back – in the Lord of the Rings musical

It seems calculated to turn the purist pale with horror. Plans were unveiled yesterday to turn JRR Tolkien’s often sombre epic The Lord of the Rings into the most expensive West End musical ever staged.
A singing and dancing cast of 50, playing hobbits, elves, giant trees, wizards, monsters and the other main creatures of the author’s Middle Earth are due to take to the stage in spring 2005.

A planned budget of £8m will set a West End record, £1.8m more than Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

Kevin Wallace, its co-producer, a long-standing collaborator of Andrew Lloyd Webber, said: “If Shakespeare can put all England on stage in Henry IV, I am confident we can put on the whole of Middle Earth.

“We need to be, and will be, respectful to what is on the page. The core of the production will be storytelling. The special effects, the scale and the awe factor, will come on top of that.”

He declined to recite any of the show’s lyrics, which will not be those included in the books by Tolkien. Though some will be in Elvish, the new words will be written by Shaun McKenna, a television and radio writer, who had his last West End outing in 1997 with the book and lyrics for Maddie, a romantic musical comedy based partly on Noel Coward’s play Blithe Spirit.

The music is by Stephen Keeling, who wrote the music for Maddie, and the Vienna-born Bernd Stromberger, who has written musicals based on Mozart’s The Magic Flute, the Santa Claus legend and Tolkien’s The Hobbit.

Michael Billington’s review of Maddie in the Guardian said: “The book, by Shaun McKenna and Steven Dexter, keeps the plot spinning and Stephen Keeling’s music switches neatly between periods. What the show lacks is the quality that distinguishes the exceptional from the everyday musical.”

The Lord of the Rings is still uncast. Mr Wallace said the budget allowed for “generous” but not international star-level salaries.

The venture relies on catching the wave of interest generated by the Tolkien films. The second, The Two Towers, outdid the second Harry Potter film at world box offices. Last year The Lord of the Rings sold 889,895 copies in British bookshops, more than any single Harry Potter title.

Tolkien’s heirs and literary estate have no artistic control over the musical and will get no money from it. In 1969 Tolkien sold his film and stage rights, now owned by the Hollywood producer Saul Zaentz, who is co-producing the musical, for $250,000.

Tolkien’s maxim for the deal was “either very profitable terms indeed, or absolute author’s veto on objectionable features or alterations.” He got neither, though his descendants have gained greatly from book sales prompted by the films.

Happy Birthday (Now why does it have to be for everyone at once)

So let’s see.

diziara – I know it is late, but I have been amazingly busy. Now if I can just figure out how to get your birthday present to you.

gramalkin – Happy big 30! You don’t look a day over about 22. Damn you.

miktar – Here is hoping for a really fun day for you. Go and just relax and let the day renew you.

Boy I would love to see this Dick and Jane book.

::reprinted from The bear’s homepage::

Dick and Jane Instigate a Popular Revolution

I live

Woke up with a migraine yesterday. Got nothing accomplished as a result. (Hell, I felt so rotten I didn’t even take out the trash.)

Finally gave in and gave myself a migraine shot last night – I didn’t keep putting it off because it required giving myself an injection (just an intramuscular one) or because it is a “drug” I am a firm believer that medicine properly used is a good thing – but I don’t like being blitzed out of my mind by painkillers.

Thankfully, it seems to have done the job and I am not hurting today.

Poke the Penguin

Just keep poking him. . .

Leveraged from volare

OK. This is ridiculous

Got to work at about 06:50.

It is now 09:14 – and since things are so quiet I have actually had time to write 10 count them, 10 technical articles for troubleshooting issues that I get called on at home all the time for.

And I even managed to do this while chatting with Match.com’s DBA and monitoring the parity rebuild for the 200 GB drive array on their main SQL Write server.

I have no business being this bloody perky today. I have no idea where all of the energy is coming from. But it is very nice to be on days (finally) and not be putting out fires all night.


Let it be said for the record.

I am not a morning person.

But pretending to be a morning person is infinitely better than working all night every night. I don’t mind pulling an occasional all-nighter, but nine years of them is just silly.

Never thought I would be saying this but I am so glad I have to get up early. Not happy about missing church, but I will take it when you look at the alternative.

Oh! Seems I was wrong.

One is never enough.

9 Hours!

9 Hours with shoes on. I don’t wear shoes! Now I have slipped them off under my desk and oh it feels so good.

You know, something that feels this good should be illegal, immoral, or fattening.

I won’t tell if you won’t.

How time flies.

It is already the middle of August.

I had realized just how fast time is going by. So much to do and so little time to do it in.

Quiet day so far

First time I have been here during the day and was actually supposed to be here. Very curious.

There are people here. I never see people.

If this keeps up I may actually grow to like my job again. Ergo, something will blow itself to the ninth circle of Hell soon.

We mustn’t have David actually be happy now.

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