Monthly Archives: January 2006

More interesting icons

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Still working on the text of this post.

I will work it out soon.

Just a lot of icons that I have found lately

Zzzzziiiiiip…..

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Not been posting that much this weekend, nor today (for a while at least)

But I have been doing refresher for a cert exam that I have at one.

And in fact, I’m going in to it now.

Oh how I love four hour long tests.

Posting from my phone.

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Why?
Just to prove that I can.

A joke from my uncle in Hawaii – Lost Gravy Ladle

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John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn’t help noticing how handsome John’s roommate was. She had long been suspicious of Johns’ sexual orientation and this only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye.

Reading his mom’s thoughts, John volunteered, “I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Mark and I are just roommates.”

About a week later, Mark came to John and said, “Ever since your mother came to dinner, I’ve been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don’t suppose she took it, do you?”

John said, “Well, I doubt it, but I’ll write her a letter just to be sure.” So he sat down and wrote: “Dear Mother, I’m not saying you ‘did’ take a gravy ladle from my house, and I’m not saying you ‘did not’ take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.”

Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read: “Dear Son, I’m not saying that you ‘do’ sleep with Mark, and I’m not saying that you ‘do not’ sleep with Mark. But the fact remains that if he was sleeping in his own bed, he would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom”

Dammit Randy kobold!

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I did not see this coming.

I…..

You are such a damn good writer, I feel like your talent is being wasted on me.

……

Just bloody hell, I ………

…..

I don’t have anything else to say.

Oh I am *so* going to hell for this one

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redcub74 is to blame for this.

Jesus: The Musical

Do Not Watch This if you have a been drinking something. Or if you are lacking in a sense of humor. You have been warned.

*goes off to get a towel to clean off his monitor*

This is it for today – I think

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Well during my rebellion and lunch, I went traipsing through LJ for a bit and came upon some serious iconlurve.

Comments to each so that I can share.


So much love for little demon possessed kittens!


Harlan Ellison meets Hello Kitty – Isn’t this one of the signs of the end times?

This one makes me think of saunteringdown


So, what do *you* want?
[EDIT – What do you think, should I use this to represent my employers when I am reporting on the evil?]


This one just made me think of nata5

And yes, this one made me think of twfarlan, though I suppose that you could hear such an utterance from valkyrwench . . . Oh hell, who am I kidding? Most of my friends would say this!


I need to find someone who can read mandarin ( believe that this is mandarin) and tell me if this is serious cursing or just being pretty.


I can’t help but giggle at this one.


iceraver, I know you work for them but this icon made me smile.


And yes, I thought of valkyrwench immediately.

So I may be a sheep as well

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Quiz cut

Further evidence that I am part cat

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After sitting for several hours at my desk handling random issues, nothing feels better in the world than a good hard stretching, and if a guy were to come up behind me right now and start massaging my shoulders and neck, I would do anything he wanted.

No doubt about it, I am a hedonist.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?

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Well, once again this morning I was taking management to task because our people who are handling most of the monitoring cannot seem to be bothered to notify someone that they are linking new issues to old tickets – some day, one of four things will happen.

  1. I will find a great and fun job somewhere (and believe me I am not limiting my search to Dallas, either).
  2. I will snap and the aftermath will have heads mounted on pikes as a warning to future generations.
  3. Management will allow me to start using shock collars on people who annoy me.
  4. Co-workers will start to use their brains for something other than separating their ears.

This quote wins Teh Interweb!

Please help support the “Society for the Appreciation of Incestuous Sapphism”. Sign up today!

This piece of joy came from the comments to this classic post in mock_the_stupid


I turned on the television last night to indulge in one of my secret “dirty pleasures” – That’s right, I watched my weeks worth of Good Eats. Aside from the fact that AB is not hard on the eyes, his show is fun, funny, has just a touch of good solid science, and can even stimulate the brain – and we can’t have that now can we? Well, in the process of watching my show, I caught the beginning of a new show, and was smitten. The Food Network has hired Venezuelan chef George Duran to host the new show Ham On The Street. And he is hot.

Oh the thoughts that ran through my head when I saw him. And his sense of humor is rather interesting. Case in point from his Q&A.

FN.com: What makes you different from other Food Network hosts?
GD: You may not be able to tell on TV, but I don’t like wearing underwear when I cook.

Yes, to me snarky is sexy.

And if you do not believe me, here is a link to an advertising bump for the show. Sorry, it’s in WMV format, but I don’t have any control over that.

Now knowing my luck, who wants to lay money that he is straight as an arrow?


It has also come to my attention that I am oblivious, stupid and blind.

And that is correct. I found out yesterday that there is a guy out there who had patiently been waiting for me to ask him out. And evidentially my “clue factor” is about as good as my gaydar (and I got that secondhand from a military surplus store).

So if there is anyone else out there who thinks I am a stuck up ass who is too good to ask them out, please reconsider. It’s not that I am stuck up, it’s that I am oblivious about things like that unless you are pretty subtle and smack me upside the head with a sledgehammer.

Of course, the mere idea that someone could be interested in me totally boggles the mind.

Hmmmmmm – 7 in one post

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OK – sorry for the verbal bukake from yesterday. I *had* to get it out of my system right then. But I am a *much* nicer/happier person today – even if I had some really strange dreams.

But more about that later.

One thing is for sure thought, I was channeling vishvakarman yesterday afternoon. And I realize now that I have missed his rather skewed but always thought provoking point of view.

Ben, I know that registration was hell, but please post some more soon. Pleeeeeeeeeease?

Baaaaaaaaaaa!

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Since everyone else is doing it. . . .

Get your own spectral analysis from Area 23®

Oh BTW Trav – now yours has even more of an hourglass when influenced by mine.

Fucking, FUCKING, *FUCKING* FOOLS!

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Here is a hint for how to co-exist with me if you are privileged enough to work with me.

If I worked on a particular issue five or more hours ago, and it has not fired in all of that time, and it suddenly happens again, and you contact me asking if you can give me the issue again. And I tell you: “No, I am working on some other issues right now, you will need to take care of that.”

Do not fucking link your sorry assed alert to MY FUCKING TICKET AND THEN LEAVE THE FUCKER FIRING WHILE I AM OFF WORKING ON SOMETHING ELSE ENTIRELY.

I am not Vulcan, I do not bleed green, my ears are not pointed. I have no way of fucking knowing that your sorry ass is too fucking lazy to work and decided to piss off and pass the work to someone else – that is, until I start closing out my tickets and find that I had inadvertently been ignoring an alert for the past hour.

Now that I have finished unloading on management, I am going to personally tear off the gonads of the engineers in question and stuff them OUT of their collective mouths via their very collective asses.


And don’t even get me STARTED on data center technicians who have to be taught how to configure virtual memory on a fucking Windows box.


[EDIT] – And “unloading on management” involved me *yelling*, *cussing*, and pounding my fist on the desk to suitably convey the point that I was less than pleased with this.

We all need our illusions – and theferrett has destroyed mine

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Currently, I have two friends who work from home – and amazingly, they both work for the same company.

There are many times that I have felt pangs of jealously for both nata5 and twfarlan. I mean, who wouldn’t love to have a 30 second commute to work?

Yeah, I know that there are drawbacks – not leaving the house much, “always taking your work home with you”, etc. But having telecommuted before, I feel that if you are careful, the benefits far outweigh the drawbacks (in my humble opinion).

And up until this week, I could envision either nata5 or twfarlan sitting at their respective desks in a professional (ha) manner diligently working away (not playing World of Warcraft of course) and otherwise generally enjoying life.

Then, this week, theferrett had to start his online comic he has been wanting to start for some time.

Home on the Strange is a slice of life comic about 30-somethings. Seems safe enough, right? Well, one of the primary characters, Tom, is now a freelance photographer, and therefore working from home. Strip 1 closes with him starkers in the living room cheering “I’m naked, and I’m working!” – and strip 2 details the “workplace hazards” of working on your laptop while naked in the living room.

I am trying with every fibre of my being to *not* mentally stick either nata5 or twfarlan into this comic – and I am managing it, barely.

And for that, I will be forever greatful.


But that having been said – I am still tempted to get the I work NAKED! t-shirt for nata5, I can just see him wearing that shirt out somewhere and really relishing the reactions that it would engender.

*rolls eyes*

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gramalkin, you are *so* going to find this amusing.

This is the blurb for the class that middle management are attending today.


From: Xxxxx Xxxxxxx On Behalf Of Data Return Academy
Sent: Wednesday, 18 January, 2006 15:26
To: Data Return Academy; GRP DRTN Dallas
Subject: HBS Lunch & Learn: Defining Moments – A Framework for Moral Decisions
When: Wednesday, 25 January, 2006 11:30-13:00 (GMT-06:00) Central Time (US & Canada).
Where: Basic Training

How do you make the tough decisions, the ones that define you as a person and as a moral leader in your organization?

You already know how to handle right vs. wrong problems. But what about the messy, complicated problems where there is no clear ethical path to follow?

These are the right vs. right problems. How you solve these problems defines your character and sets a standard others will follow.

Professor Joseph Badaracco’s presentation and supporting materials are designed to help you:

  • Picture decision moments in which your stomach tightens, your breath quickens…and recognize that you are facing a right vs. right decision.
  • Work through the four principles in the framework to make the tough decision.
  • Think of the framework as a toolkit. Use the tools together as a powerful communication vehicle.
  • Test your decision before you implement.

The F*ck?!?!?

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Engage your brain people.

Hey nata5!

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We are so short on *nix people again that when one gets sick we wind up with only one person officially in the office to take issues. If you want, I will be glad to throw your name in the hat.

*runs and hides from Derek’s wrath*

Mr Man Redux

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Sooooo – my morning started with more fun and games with Mr Man, the Astounding Web Developer Who Does Not Fear Hardware Overloads.

Well, you remember that little PII 500 with 1 GB of memory? Well, over the weekend, they loaded a new website on it for one of their new customers – even though we have been telling them that this server was able to handle the load.

What is the site you ask? It is a Superbowl Promotional Site! Yes, if you go to Super Bowl XL you too can join the approximately 2000 people who are trying to browse the site purchase things from the online store – and right now, it is only taking about 10 seconds for the page to load.

Why is it taking so long you ask? Because this poor server’s power source is a six year old gerbil on a wheel and he is about to have a heart attack. The server has been pegged at 100% CPU all morning and memory utilization is at 98% – 99%. Hard drive activity is solid due to paging and the closer we get to the superbowl, the worse it will get.

And the most amusing part? This customer’s Technical Account Manager told them, IN WRITING, back in August that their server would not be able to handle the load and they ignored her.

Karma’s a bitch, ain’t it?

I wouldn't know this person if he or she were to walk up and bite me on the leg

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That having been said – untall rocks my small and self centered universe.

First of all, we have some serious icon love.

And then we have this post – that I swear was somehow ghostwritten by twfarlan – Trav, have you been projecting you mind into other’s bodies?

Content of the post reproduced below in case you don’t want to click.


Just Imagine…
Just imagine, if you will, a slightly better world. Imagine a world where drivers yielded to each other, where parents and children took care of each other in all the small ways, not just the big ones, and where customers and co-workers didn’t suck. No yelling at clerks or waitstaff, no pushing and shoving to get the last of a particular item, no harassing each other for the sheer power trips they might get out of it.

All it would take is one simple law: everyone, no matter how young or how old, gets to kill one other person in their lifetime with no repercussions.

Think about it. Tempted to cut off the driver in the other lane? What if they’re packing? Think screaming at the poor clerk is going to get you that 10% discount, or a knife in the face? Do you really want to try to follow the club dancer home?

You’d never know. And that would make people think about what they’re saying to everyone — and those who can’t engage their brains before opening their mouths? A few generations (hey, evolution isn’t Pokemon) down the road, and you won’t see that particular gene expressing itself any longer.

Uhhhhhhhhhhh……… Say What?

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U.S. Obtains Internet Users’ Search Records
Yahoo and others reveal queries from millions of people; Google refuses. Identities aren’t included, but the data trove stirs privacy fears.

The information turned over to Justice Department lawyers reveals a week’s worth of online queries from millions of Americans — the Internet Age equivalent of eavesdropping on their inner monologues. The subpoenaed data could, for example, include how many times people searched online for “apple pie recipes,” “movie tickets 90012” or even “bomb instructions.”

… *snip* …

A Justice Department spokesman said the government was not interested in ferreting out names — only in search trends as part of its efforts to regulate online pornography.* But the search-engine subpoenas come amid broader concerns over how much information the government collects and how the data are used.

Full text of the news article here


I don’t know about anyone else, but if I want to go digging for pr0n, the major search engines are not where I would think to go look first. I may be stupid but when I think pr0n, the first thought in my mind is not Google. I really wish I had more data on this – it seems to have flown under the radar of most media outlets for some reason – and I would really like to get several views of this from divergent sources so that I may better divine what really was going on.

You know, I am really torn on this one – I know that there are probably good, valid reasons for this information, but at the same time, I really don’t like such data being accumulated and handed over.


* Emphasis mine.