Monthly Archives: April 2006

And last boggle of the evening.

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Slated for 2008.

Star Trek 11 (No Title Yet) – Kirk and Spock in college as fratboys.

I really can’t think of what to say about this.

No DS9, No Voyager (hey, screw you everyone – I liked Janeway), not even an Enterprise movie.

We are back to TOS again – OK – I want to know how they are going to de-age Bill and Len.

And I swear if they try and make Sulu Homecoming Queen, I will have to kick someone’s ass.


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I just found out something.

You know my manager which I like?

The one who does not blow smoke up my ass?

The one who when he finds me working late tells me to come in late the next day?

The one who has made the last six or so months really enjoyable?

Well, he is quitting and his last day is next Friday.

That screaming you heard?

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It is the IRS attempting to perform a wallet-ectomy on Symantec.

The U.S. Internal Revenue Service has hit Symantec Corp. with a $1 billion tax bill for allegedly under-reporting the value of intellectual property that the software vendor transferred to two Irish subsidiaries.


Can I please have a Do-Over for today?

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I woke up today to soft sunlight filtering through my bedroom blinds.

Emotional Me: *sleepy* “Murfle”
Logical Me: *puzzled* “This does not make sense, normally when I wake up, there is no light coming in through the window.”
Emotional Me: “So what?”
Logical Me: “Empirically, if there is light coming in the window, something is most likely wrong”
Emotional Me: “And this impacts me how?”
Logical Me: “Just go back to sleep then. Now where are my glasses?”
Emotional Me: “Zzzzzzzz”
Logical Me: *puts on glasses and looks across the room at the alarm clock on my desk* “Hmmmm…… 07:10”





Logical Me: *thwacks the Emotional Me on the head* “Get up.”
Emotional Me: “Tha Wha?”
Logical Me: “It is 07:10 – we are already ten minutes late for work.”
Emotional Me: *leaps out of bed and starts running around the room in circles* “Waaaaauuuuuuugggggggghhhhhhhh!”

At that point – I found my phone and started playing manager roulette – it only took three tries to find someone willing to answer the phone. I explained that for reasons unknown, I had massively overslept (I normally get up at 04:45 so I can be out the door at about 06:15 and at work by 07:00.

After tendering an apology for being remiss and not being at work on time, I got cleaned up – no time to shave or anything like that so I am furry today and just combed my wet hair into something that vaguely resembles order – and was out the door and on the way to work at 07:30.

Only today, some member of the fish headed public decided that it would be fun to have an accident right where 635 and I-35 joined. It took me an hour to drive to work when it normally takes only about twenty minutes.

So this morning, my internal clock is waaaaaaay off, and I am really frustrated with myself. I don’t know if I managed somehow to sleep through two different alarms going off, or if somehow my alarm clocks malfunctioned, or if I got up, sleepwalked across my bedroom, moved my desk chair out of the way, turned the alarms off and then sleepwalked back to bed.

All of my co-workers have been having a field day today too. They are extremely amused to see me not coping with today too well.

This is my second Monday in a row – I know that I am accumulating a whole lot of good karma. I just want to know when there will be an stabilization in the realm of chaos that my life seems intent on becoming.

Normally I don't bother to post memes

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But this is an …… interesting result.

We cut because we care

Icon Help

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I need a “Bitch PLZ!!!” icon.


AOLXM?!?!?! – Eeeeewwwwwww I don't want to get it on me.

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AOL, XM Join for Online Radio Service

America Online and XM SatelliteRadio have forged a partnership to create a new Web-based radio service that will replace both companies’ current online offerings. The co-branded service will be free to all Web users, with a premium counterpart that includes more stations for a small monthly fee.

That makes me glad I have a Sirius radio – no way to get AOL Cooties on me.

And in other news . . .

Best Buy Accused of Software Piracy

System recovery software maker Winternals said Wednesday that it had been granted a temporary restraining order over alleged copyright infringement by Best Buy and its Geek Squad subsidiary. Winternals claims the retailer has been using pirated and unlicensed copies of its Windows recovery software following a breakdown in licensing talks.

Damn guys – you can’t win can you?

Has anyone ever used Geek Squad? I mean their ads are annoying enough that I had promised that I would not make use of their services

Is This Thing On *tap* *tap* *tap*

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One of my co-workers sent out an email looking for someone to send an issue to.

The body of the email was unremarkable but the subject line was classic.

From: Cruz Cranford
Sent: Wednesday, 12 April, 2006 15:15
Subject: WTB: Foxtrot engineers

So I had to be a smartass and reply back to him with this.

From: David Harwell
Sent: Wednesday, 12 April, 2006 15:29
To: Cruz Cranford
Subject: WTS: [Epic Engineer of Problem Solving]

Epic Engineer of Problem Solving
Binds when hired
Cube Headcount
+10 Tickets
+22 Intellect
+12 Spirit
+22 Stamina
Classes: Engineer
Requires Level 60
Passive: 10 – 40 Tickets per Day. 
Passive: Improves customer sat by 2% 
Use: Activates the Engineer to solve issues for you – will resolve issues at a rate of 1 – 3 per five minutes until all tickets are exhausted. It requires 24 hours to cool down before it can be used again. 


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You know – it sucks when 66% of your water bill is the trash pick up fee.

Current Billing

Billing Date: 4-10-06 Days of service: 32

Current Meter Reading (04-10-06) ………… 85,100
Previous Meter Reading (03-09-06) ………. 83,400
Water Usage (gallons) ……………………………. 1,700

Water Usage Charge …………………………………….. $2.19
Base Water Charge …………………………………….. $3.61

Total Water Charge Meter # 615621 ………………. $5.80

Sewer Average (gallons) ………………………… 1,600
Billed Sewer Usage (gallons) ………………….. 1,600

Sewer Usage Charge ……………………………………. $5.47
Base Sewer Charge …………………………………….. $3.23

Total Sewer Charge ………………………………………. $8.70

Sanitation Collection Fee (incl 8.25% Tax) ……….. $19.36

Storm Water Fee ………………………………………………… $2.50

Current Charges ………………………………………. $36.36

And this is for the Dallas automated trash truck to come by twice a week and pick up whatever is in the trash can – they will only stop and pick up “bulky trash and clippings” once a month.

Protected: Well, I must be building up quite a good stock in karma.

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Baaaaaaaaaaaa, Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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Yep, you got it – the Birthday Meme

More fun from The Register – One-legged sexagenarian in car chase crash-and-burn

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One-legged sexagenarian in car chase crash-and-burn
Jail possible
By Lester Haines
Published Wednesday 5th April 2006 12:53 GMT
Article here – Gotta Love The Register

A one-legged, 60 year old woman has been warned she faces jail over a one hour, 24 mile car pursuit, which saw the sexagenarian low-speed merchant jump red lights, drive on the pavement and overtake on dangerous bends while a fleet of police cars and a spotter plane gave chase.

The blue-rinse Canonball Run – which began in a health centre carpark in Fareham, Hampshire, – ended only when Sandra Siddle and her artificial leg “crashed her Vauxhall Corsa into a lamppost at Chawton”, the Telegraph reports. To cap the whole escapade off nicely, the car then rolled into a ditch and burst into flames.

Siddle had reportedly been conducting some sort of hate campaign against Osborn Health Centre, although the background is not stated. The pursuit began as she blocked in cars in the centre’s carpark and, when a female police officer attended the scene, attempted to run over the presumably nimble copper.

Charles Thomas, prosecuting, told Portsmouth Crown Court: “Police cars pursued the defendant with blue flashing lights and sirens on. It was absolutely obvious that she was being required to stop but she ignored these instructions.”

Police at one point deployed a “stinger” which took out the Corsa’s front tyres, to little effect.

Siddle was found guilty of dangerous driving, has been banned from the road, and warned she may face jail when she returns next month for sentencing. One thing does mitigate in her favour, however: as many of you may have spotted, this was not the most white-knuckle chase of all time. Prosecutor Thomas admitted: “There is no suggestion that she was driving above the speed limit.”

Bits and pieces

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Punish Freeloaders – Why are people surprised by this result?

A cat dies and goes to Heaven. God meets him at the gate and says, “You’ve been a good cat all of these years. Anything you desire is yours, all you have to do is ask.”

The cat says, “Well, I lived all my life with a poor family on a farm and had to sleep on hardwood floors.”

God says, “Say no more.” And instantly, a fluffy pillow appears.

A few days later, 6 mice are killed in a tragic accident and they go to Heaven. God meets them at the gate with the same offer that He made the cat.

The mice said, “All our lives we’ve had to run. We’ve been chased by cats, dogs, and even women with brooms. If we could only have a pair of roller skates, we wouldn’t have to run anymore.”

God says, “Say no more.” And instantly, each mouse is fitted with a beautiful pair of tiny roller skates.

About a week later, God decides to check and see how the cat is doing. The is is sound asleep on his new pillow. God gently wakes him and asks, “How are you doing? Are you happy here?”

The cat yawns and stretches and says, “Oh, I’ve never been happier in my life! And those Meals on Wheels you’ve been sending over are the best!”

And I am afraid to admit it but for the first time in weeks I have all of my client’s issues not only resolved but worked ahead to the point that I have run out of things to do today.

It’s kinda nice.

On less fun news, I had the “special” chicken wrap yesterday from the downstairs cafeteria – by the end of the day I was feeling poorly. By the time I got home, I was sick as a dog. I finally got to sleep at about 01:00 this morning, which is just dandy when you get up at 04:45 to get ready for work.

Thankfully I am feeling much better today – I think I may go to the market down the street for lunch and have some home-made spaghetti and a greek salad.

There are a lot of flying pigs in the air today.

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Attention world – Hell just froze over.

Expect Satan to be riding to work on a snow blower, and numerous pigs and monkeys to be flying out of the butts of multiple people.

Also expect flocks of flying pigs to darken the skies.

Apple decides it will do Windows
Reaction mixed among Mac users

Apple says – Welcome to Boot Camp

Now you can boot XP or Vista on your Mac.

Now there is some snark in the press release – But I think that this is sour grapes to a degree.

“Sadly, Windows XP, and even the upcoming Vista, are stuck in the 1980s with old-fashioned BIOS. But with Boot Camp, the Mac can operate smoothly in both centuries.”

“Windows running on a Mac is like Windows running on a PC. That means it’ll be subject to the same attacks that plague the Windows world. So be sure to keep it updated with the latest Microsoft Windows security fixes.”

“Once you’ve completed Boot Camp, simply hold down the option key at startup to choose between Mac OS X and Windows. (That’s the “alt” key for you longtime Windows users.)”

Now what the hell is this going to mean for all of my cross-platform work?

First dropping the PowerPC chip for Intel, and now booting and running Windows? Oh Apple – now if I can just figure out where you are going with all of this.

Now I know what chewtoys feel like

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This latest period of adjustment for changing my schedule isn’t going so well.

Saturday I woke up at 06:25 – I am normally out the door and on my way to work at 06:15.

So I screamed something unprintable, was showered rinsed off in cold water in under five minutes, dressed and out the door by 06:35.

I made it to work from where I live (on the boarder between Dallas and Richardson) to my office (north-western quadrent of Irving approaching the entrance to DFW airport) with five minutes to spare.

And no coffee, or anything caffinated in my system.

It was a long day. And a very slow day. Until there was an hour left in the twelve hour day.

And for some reason, there was a eight hour long director level meeting. So my boss’s boss’s boss, kept getting bored and sticking his head in the NOC all day long.

The one major plus to working weekends is no management – for one day you don’t have people looking over your shoulder all day and second-guessing you. Not so for yesterday.

Oh, and the coke machine was offline – and we were almost out of coffee.

So when I got home Saturday, I wound up going straight to bed. And I woke up about fifteen minutes ago.

I slept for eightteen hours, I never do that – evidentally I had really run my body through the wringer with that stress induced bit of super-speed more than I thought I had.

I hurt like hell when I woke up but it is slowly getting better – so I am floating a theory that these are all side effects to a really high stress level.

Now let’s see where the remainder of the day takes me.