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Dump email, smoke dope: The smart choice

OK…… According to University of London researchers, smoking a joint is less damaging to your IQ than emailing and text messaging.

And I quote:

Apparently, ‘doziness’, lethargy and difficulty in focusing hit ‘startling levels’ – and that’s just for the workers. Despite the remarkable similarity to the conditions experienced by most stoners, the IQ hit for workers is much higher.

Survey respondents sacrificed 10 points of IQ throughout the day compared to the stoner’s loss of four. Emails along with text messages exhibited a drug-like grip over the survey respondents, disrupting their current work in order to answer them. Work productivity suffered overall with most people unable to resist answering incoming messages. In fact, the cost of all of this juggling throughout the day is judged to be the equivalent of losing a night’s sleep.

The study, bizarrely enough was sponsored by HP. I know things have been a bit rocky since their little ray of light Carly got the heave-ho, but is this the way to go? So what is HP trying to tell us – smoke more dope, ignore the phone, don’t answer your emails and switch off the mobile monster in your pocket? While I can appreciate the life-enhancing goal, I’m not convinced the investors in this multi-billion dollar IT company are going to soak up all that positive chi. I’m pretty sure the switch from servers to smoker’s snacks is not going to boost that bottom-line. In fact, those investors could probably do with something to steady their nerves these days.

You know, I can’t even make up stuff this good.

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